How to overcome loneliness?
- 1 How to overcome loneliness?
Are you afraid of being alone or not? Suppose the people in your house have gone somewhere outside and you are alone in the house. So are you afraid of them going away? We can show ourselves strong, but inside we have a great fear inside us. Whenever we are alone we find someone else to avoid loneliness. When does the sense of loneliness become very permanent in us?
When you are separated from someone. Then we become frosted and very sad. When you are there in this situation then there are too many things going on inside us. So at that time, it is a solution to leave it and move your attention from there to somewhere else. It is not a proper solution. We will be stuck here.
On the contrary, any work we can do, we do not know that we will join anyone to divert attention. Because at that time we are not in this condition to take any decision. At that time, no decision is better than taking any decision. That is much better than making a decision. Because whatever decision you will take, a strong position that the decision will be wrong.
It is possible that in order to divert attention from your mind, you have to drive because then you are angry. So how will anger get out? By drinking beer or going out with friends or taking revenge on him. At the same time, anything can come to your mind. Loneliness is inside all of us. Fear of being alone.
Why do we feel lonely?
There are two things here, one is your survival and the other is your happiness. When your survival is stuck, you depend on a person for survival. So you are afraid of being separated from that person. You have to understand the difference between these two things. One is your survival and one is your happiness. We want both in life. Your life will be secure, but if there is no happiness in life, then such a life is useless. There is no direct connection between survival and happiness. Survival is necessary.
How will your life secure?
You have to do some extraordinary in studies. You need an educational qualification for which you will financially secure. If you are dependent on someone else for your survival, then you fear to be separated from him. We have to survive in any way. If you have done this, then survival-related loneliness goes from inside you. This is a must. Never compromise with it. Survival and happiness both are important for us.
There are two types of projects in our life
One project for survival
Another project for happiness
One projects for survival and another project for happiness. Both are different things. We have to understand the importance of them. Money is very important because the fear related to money goes away. We are afraid of the world because inside we feel very lonely, afraid of being alone. So what do we have to do? To connect with people. Do you see what the problem is?
Example of dependence
You have not made yourself capable and have joined someone for your survival, then you will become dependent on it for the whole life. That guy can blackmail you, use you and make you do anything. What if you have not become completely independent for your happiness? Whichever you are the dependent, for happiness, he or she will not blackmail you. Will, we are not afraid of being separated from him? Because you are dependent on it for your happiness, but if you become dependent on yourself for your happiness completely. Then you don’t need anyone to be happy.
If I become a financially independent person, then I can take care of myself better. If I am financially independent then I can very well take care of my family. Just like if I am completely independent for my happiness. My heart is full of happiness. We are unknowingly seeking happiness from the people around us. That is like we will be very happy to complete our expectation.
If you are seeking happiness then you will give happiness to someone. If you are asking for money from someone, what will you give to someone? What will he give to someone who is beggar himself?
We have to be financially independent because all the people who depend on you have to live with love. It is to understand that I am working financially. But even if they are not they helping me in another project. Which is more important than this project.
Survival is here because of happiness. Otherwise, it has no value in itself. If you don’t get happiness out of succeeding in the material world, what is it for? Will become hollow. Such people will be seeing a lot of achiever from outside, they will not see satisfy from inside. They are sitting in good positions in the best company. If you look into his eyes, it will feel like he is an animal. He is a hunter, he knows to hunt from anywhere anyway? They are hunters, not lovers.
project for happiness
I just want to be a supreme lover. When will that be when you are completely independent for your happiness? What would you do if you were dependent on someone else for your happiness and became happy, sad or went into depression? You will be very irritated and frosted. But what if you were not dependent on it for your happiness? You will go and support him. This can happen when you are not dependent on it for your pleasure. But you have depended on him for your happiness because his nature was very good.
You have to be love. Love means somebody who is full of happiness. That is assets of love.
The sense of loneliness that comes out of us. You can enjoy alone as much as you do with anyone. Neither more nor less than that.
cause of fear
Being alone makes us afraid that when we are alone, so many thoughts come into us. Mostly that thoughts are negative. That is the problem. But if you are sitting alone, your thinking is amazing and you are enjoying it, then what will happen if you enjoy yourself together. The fear of being alone will be removed. The problem is not outside but not inside.
What is the world doing? Gathering things outside, connecting with people outside, doing everything outside and thinking that there is going to be happy from there. Cannot be found there.
No person is black or white, he is black and white. At that time there are some good and some bad things too. Outside you are connected to anyone, there is both positive and negative problem. The problem is that you want only positive. And it can’t be out. But the world inside is such that where you have complete control over yourself, you feel incomplete right now and want to be with someone to complete. You should understand that I do not have to be complete. I am not happy with someone I am happy to be with someone. He is not connecting with people, the whole world is connecting with him.
If you pair with someone else for your happiness, then your control comes in his hand. One is that the whole world has come together with you. Everyone around you, your family, your friends know that it is a storehouse of happiness. People all over the world want happiness. It is not a big deal to want a little love.
Do not import anything in this world as much as two means start taking light to live. We very much make something strong and get stuck there. Due to those beliefs, there is fight fights.No matter how serious the problem is, take comfort from it. This is the way to handle the inside world.
For example, you will ask such a person who does not understand the world, he has tied one thing to live in life. You have caught one of your beliefs. I’m right. Then you are against some people. The Moment you take a stand then you are against the whole world. If you have not taken any stand then you are with everyone.
It should be like this, everyone has this eye to see. If you lightly change your eyesight, then the situation which you had previously seemed very serious. Now you will also find it easy.
For example, you have a breakup with someone and you are very upset. Ask yourself, which was no longer my affair, when I was happy or sad. What happened after going into a relationship, something good happened and some bad. If you were separated then it would have been worse. If everything went well then there would be no more people, so now we should be happy.
To understand this well, let’s take another example. A man who has never been to any place and is appreciative that Switzerland is very beautiful. If he has never been there, he will have a desire that I will be sad because of this. There was a desire to go to Switzerland, if he lived somewhere, he would not enjoy life if he desired.
Now, what happened? You went to Switzerland and saw that nothing happened there and then came back home. Now you should be more peaceful. If anyone thinks so, it can be amazing inside the mind. In life, you will also laugh at any serious problem, here you have not held unnecessary memory.
You are the source of application not just for your body but for all the body of creation. If someone does evil to you, you quickly accept and react, but if someone is praising you, then you do not believe at all.
Whether you believe it or not, you are the source of the application. You don’t need anyone to be happy. You are happy, you are the source of happiness. Whenever you are unhappy, you understand something else, then you are unhappy, there is a lack of understanding.
If you understand what you are in real, then a grandness will come in you. You will not talk small.
Little things will not affect you. This is the sense of loneliness, if you have to completely uproot it from the roots, then it is not alone in you too. In private you are with yourself. You are not different from this creature. You are everything. Everything is in you. Need a look to see this. First, the unlimited thought that is going on in our mind stops running for a while, then we will understand the reality.